Harsh truths are coming…

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Let’s get something straight:
This isn’t a woman-bashing article. This isn’t a “men good, women bad” rant. And this definitely isn’t an excuse to blame your ex for everything that went wrong while you were sending memes instead of communicating.

But…
Can we be real for a second?

There’s a question floating around more and more these days — in Reddit threads, in group chats, in late-night DMs from your buddy who’s “done with dating” for the fifth time this year.

“Are women just… not great at relationships?”

And as wild as that sounds on the surface, let’s dig into it. Because once you strip away the knee-jerk reactions and gender war nonsense, you’ll find a truth that’s a little uncomfortable, a little surprising, and honestly… kind of freeing.

1. Women Want Relationships — But Don’t Always Know How to Do Them

This one stings, but here it is:
A lot of women are chasing connection, love, and emotional intimacy… without ever being taught how to actually create it.

They’ve been taught to demand emotional availability from men.
They haven’t been taught how to offer it back.

They’ve been told they “deserve the world.”
They haven’t been told that relationships require contribution, not just presence.

Cue the confusion. Cue the mismatched expectations. Cue two people sitting on the couch thinking “Why do I feel so alone next to someone I love?”

2. Men Are Told to Improve. Women Are Told They’re Enough

Let’s look at how society treats self-improvement in relationships.

• Men are told to open up. Go to therapy. Learn to communicate. Heal their wounds. Take accountability.
• Women are told to love themselves more, dump anyone who doesn’t meet every need, and never settle.

Notice the gap?

We’ve created a dynamic where one person is expected to grow, while the other is expected to be accepted as they are, flaws and all.

That’s not partnership. That’s performance art.

3. Some Women Confuse Emotional Expression with Emotional Maturity

You ever hear a woman say, “I’m just being honest” right after torching your soul?

Yeah. That’s not emotional maturity. That’s weaponized vulnerability.

Real emotional maturity isn’t just sharing your feelings — it’s managing them. It’s taking ownership of your triggers. It’s being able to say, “Hey, I was out of line,” without blaming it on your period, your ex, or Mercury in retrograde.

And yes, men can suck at this too. But here’s the catch: men are expected to fix it. Women? Not so much.

4. Accountability Isn’t Personal — It’s Relational

Some women will tell you, “I’m working on myself,” and think that means they’re being accountable.

But here’s the thing: working on yourself privately isn’t the same as showing up differently in a relationship.

If your partner can’t feel the change, what are we even doing?

A good partner doesn’t just heal in isolation — they bring those lessons into the relationship. They communicate better. They listen more. They choose collaboration over competition.

Anything less than that?
It’s just self-help cosplay.

5. The Harsh Reality: Some Women Expect a Man to Be Their Therapist, Father, Cheerleader, ATM, and Emotional Rock

…while offering vibes, sporadic affection, and a Pinterest board in return.

Sorry, someone had to say it.

Too many men are walking around emotionally depleted, overfunctioning in relationships, and still being told they’re not doing enough.

Meanwhile, their partners are measuring “effort” by how many times they sent a TikTok or said “I’m here if you need me.”

Guys aren’t bailing on relationships because they’re afraid of commitment.

They’re bailing because they’ve seen the ROI — and it’s trash.

So, Are Women Terrible Partners?

No.

But here’s the truth:

A lot of women are emotionally under-trained.
A lot of men are emotionally under-supported.

And it shows.

It shows in the resentment. The confusion. The constant feeling of imbalance where one person gives more than they get and still feels guilty about asking for more.

The real question isn’t “Are women terrible partners?”

It’s:
Have we created a culture where women are expected to be loved… but not necessarily to love well in return?

That’s the uncomfortable bit.
That’s the part worth talking about.

Final Thoughts (And a Gentle Nudge)

If you’re a woman reading this and you feel defensive — that’s okay. Let it sit. Then ask yourself: Would I date me?

If you’re a man reading this, tired and burnt out — you’re not crazy. You’re just finally noticing the weight you’ve been carrying.

And if you’re in a relationship and wondering why it feels lopsided?

Start here:
Love is not about who deserves more. It’s about who’s willing to give more — without making the other person do all the work.

Now go check your dynamic.

Not with judgment. With curiosity.
Because the truth? Most people don’t suck at love.
They just never learned how to actually do it.